Thursday, August 30, 2018

Day 28: My Favourite Sweater

Oh, whoops, looks like this one got lost. Here it is.

My favourite sweater is a brown khaki sweater I usually pair with a sleeveless hoodie that goes underneath. It's not much but it's a summer sweater, it's thin enough not to melt my insides but it's something to throw over my body to protect me from the elements.

That's genuinely all I have to say about that.

Cheers.

Day 30: The Next 30 Days

Finally, I finally get to do this victory lap.

Ugh, I know, I know. This took wayyyy longer than a month. It wasn't supposed to. It was supposed to be easy peasy lemon breezy but it wasn't. It was postpone postpone lemon postpone.

Now it's finally done.

Okay, phew. I think this is definitely going to be the last 30 day challenge for a while. I have been sitting on a couple posts that I didn't want to release until this whole thing was over but finally, finally I can start thinking about the release order and how I want to post them.

Also I just messed around with the website a bunch in order to get the crawler to crawl and it was a nightmare and I wanted to yank my hair out but now all is right!

Anyway, so here's my personal plans for the next 30 days;
-Get through uni
-Try not to walk into traffic
-Write and post more

As for the blog, I'm going to change up what I'm writing for a bit. There's still that piece on Starship Arena (it passed 100 downloads baybeeeeeee!) and yeah. This is what it is.

The second 30 day blog challenge done.

Now, you might be asking yourself why I did this, and the reason is simple;

Learning to finish projects.

Folding Ideas has a much better vid to explain why but I need to learn the skills necessary to close the things I open, and there are so many projects lingering in an unfinished state. With the game, Owen's book, this second 30 Day Challenge all done, it feels like I'm getting a little better at finishing the stuff I start. Hopefully someday you'll get to see more of my work but until that someday you'll have to be patient as I learn to get it to you more timely, and hopefully to a degree of quality I'm happy with.

Until next time.

Day 29: My Personal Code

Everyone has a sort of moral guideline. Your sense of right and wrong. How you determine what to stand up for, and what to give up on.

For this one, I wanted to share mine.

It's not very complex, it's not very wide, I can boil it down to two words;

Be empathetic.

Life is hard and it's going to be a lot harder if we can't put ourselves in each other's shoes. It's easy to forget that the person on the other side is also a human being, a person, and people are easy. We all don't want to suffer, we want what's best for our friends and families, we have a sense of self-preservation, and we really hate being wrong about things.

If there's one trait I think we need more than any other, it's empathy. Because we have to be better to each other. I wanna be better to other people. I don't want to do anything to anyone that I wouldn't want them to do to me. I don't like pain, I don't want to cause anyone else pain. I don't like suffering, I don't want to make anyone suffer. I don't like being hated, I don't want to hate anyone.

People often ask where an atheist's sense of morality comes from and if you've ever heard someone stutter to answer, it's simple; the innate human ability to empathise with another human being. To look at someone else, see their situation and say, I understand, were I where you are I too would act as you do.

I know, no rule is hardfast, nothing is concrete. There are some people you can never empathise with. There are some people you can't even begin to understand.

But if you treat everyone like they're your fellow human beings, maybe the world becomes a slightly better place.

Day 27: But Finding New Friends

And the good in goodbye is that finding new friends?

It's an adventure.

Eventually there comes a point where you have to meet new people and it's scary and you're terrified and you don't know how to cope with it all. What do you say, what do you do, how come they're all so much cooler than you... It's an emotional rollercoaster.

But then, if you're lucky, it all falls into place and you get a new couple handshakes and hugs in the morning.

Going from primary school to primary school, I had to learn to make new friends real fast because otherwise I wouldn't survive. And losing my highschool friends to graduation meant I was going to this new place with new people and I wouldn't know anyone again, and I wouldn't be as close as I was to them.

Terrifying.

But on my first day I met two of the people I'd basically form my support network out of and as the years went on, I met my bandmates, I met a couple people I fell madly in love with, and the people who meant the most to me that drifted, their loss was suddenly not that bad.

And that's what they don't tell you, when you get to the other side and you've taken the hits... You figure that you flinched way more than you should. Sure, it's scary in the moment but you'll wonder years down the line what you were even so scared of.

Don't get me wrong, I do still miss them. But I also now know;

The friends worth missing are the ones you see again and its like time hasn't passed.

So don't worry, you'll find new friends, and you'll form new bonds, and the bonds that were meant to hold will stay strong, even if you don't see old friends that often.

To end on a cliche, it's not about how far we're apart, but about how close we keep to each other's hearts. Or something like that.

Day 26: Drifting Apart From Friends

Recently had to cancel on a friend for the second weekend in a row. Felt bad but we live a city or two apart and lives are hectic.

Sad thing is we used to be really close.

An inevitable fact of life is that you drift apart from friends.

I drifted from my childhood best friends, drifted from my highschool ones, I don't keep contact with 90% of my friends from first year. Life scatters you all through the wind.

And that's tough.

As you get older and older it gets harder to find new people with common interests and everyone seems to be at a different point in life. Some of us are broke students, some of us are working folk, some of us are spouses and some of us are parents.

I think what's important to remember isn't the drifting, it's the even knowing. We all start out as empty ledgers and then we get filled with stories, and you just gotta make the best stories you can with the time you have.

So don't take the people you have for granted. But also remember that if or when they leave, they're not taking anything absolutely essential, you're still a whole person, and there's even a little bit of good in goodbye.

Day 25: The End Of An Era (Big Bang Theory)

So Big Bang Theory is ending and my feelings are complicated so I guess I wanna talk and I hope you'll indulge me.

It's true the actors are being paid more and more while the show's quality continues to slowly decline. Even I watched the 10th season and didn't find a lot of reason to continue, but 10 seasons of anything can do that. A lot of people are, understandably, glad the show is finally concluding. My feelings remain mixed.

Some people might be too old to understand what it's like growing up with Big Bang Theory, and others might be too young to know why we ever liked it.

But Big Bang Theory did something amazing.

It made being a geek... Okay. It was kind of part of what made geek culture into pop culture.

Big Bang Theory was, initially, a show that was about two things; incorporating science and geek culture into an easily digestible format which literally anyone could watch. It was a show about geeks that people who weren't geeks could enjoy. I mean, if you're a denizen of the internet, Star Wars is literally more popular and profitable than The Olympic Games, old media is dying out, millennials are being blamed for killing everything from the diamond industry to mayonnaise. Nerd shit is more mainstream than ever, your mom could probably name more Avengers than linebackers.

But it hasn't always been like that.

Growing up, Star Wars was freaking uncool. Comic books were uncool. Videogames were uncool. We didn't have eSports gods or yearly MCU releases dominating the box office. I mean, I remember not being able to find a single person around me that liked Naruto, and I mean Naruto has now become so popular there's a Disney XD dub of Shippuden.

Pretend you're me and it's 2007 and geek culture is not mainstream and you have friends who are geeky and you're all bottom of the foodchain because you aren't fashionable or particularly sporty or sociable but you guys all really like Spiderman comics and have watched all the Star Wars movies and you have watched enough anime to have a favourite anime. And here comes this show that takes physics and science and geek culture and is funny, genuinely funny, but not in a gatekeepy way. And it was big. Like, people who you'd never expect would join you in the hallways to sing the Big Bang Theory theme song.

Suddenly everyone shares their geek. Time goes on and it's highschool and you gotta choose your subjects.

Physics class was full. Projector goes on and it's time to learn about the Doppler Effect, and the first thing we get shown is a clip from Big Bang Theory where Sheldon dresses up as The Doppler Effect. We started up a science club.

And the show went on and I grew up and whenever I got blue I'd throw on some Big Bang Theory because it was junkfood entertainment and even the cheap laughs were a laugh and laughter did help alleviate symptoms.

Then the internet turned on it. Suddenly Big Bang Theory was just being hated on left right and center.

And the show has problems. Enough problems to write video essays about. Which people frequently do. Often in bad faith.

But it was like, this funny little show about a bunch of relatable geeks was now the target of everyone's vitriol and now, after 12 seasons, it's going away, it's finally coming to an end, and people are taking pleasure in kicking it down one last time.

I like these characters. I love how Howard had to grow as a person and become an adult to be with Bernadette. I love how Sheldon's repeatedly shown that despite his neurotic tendencies he has his own way of showing affection. I love how Leonard and Penny went back and forth on finding a way to be a couple when they're two people who have nothing in common. I love Amy and Mayim Bialik is a fucking bad ass. I love Bernadette and her tiny voice.

And a part of me is glad the show is ending. I want these characters to have a happy ever after and to go out on a high note.

But I'm also kind of sad. It's natural to be sad when something ends. I never expected Big Bang Theory to go on as long as say, Supernatural (14 seasons, holy god) but it's like we're at the end of an era.

Don't get me wrong, I do think there are better comedies out there. But hey, maybe it's time to think back and remember that Big Bang Theory had some solid jokes and funny episodes and sweet moments.

And I think that's what the show should be remembered for, and not for the moment someone referenced pop culture and a laugh track played. Like that time Howard brought in a keyboard to the hospital when Bernadette was sick and played her a song on the other side of the glass, or Sheldon kissing Amy on the train for the first time, or Leonard and Penny's first date where Sheldon used shrodinger's cat to help them overcome their anxiety. Or when Raj got his heart broken but it helped him overcome his fear of talking to women.

You know, in a time when the internet video economy is filled with "What Went Wrong With" videos, it's hard to remember the "What Went Right With"s. And plenty went right.

So I hope when that final episode airs, that you all can remember that Big Bang Theory wasn't the bane of mankind internet manbabies who make a living off bad faith criticisms claim it is, it was just a funny show that might have gone on a little too long.

That's all I have to say.


Day 24: My Facebook Feed

Facebook and Twitter rank among the least progressive social media platforms.

That's an odd blanket statement to start of with but they're also the two that get the most reach, which means they get the most traffic, which means they get the highest influx of people who only come online to spout vitriol.

And I use Facebook a lot, so I usually get a front row seat.

I have plenty of horror stories, from the recent hack of Lizzy The Lezzy's page which posted pornography and anti-trans imagery, to various alt-right spewings, to any given comment section on Nerdist or Metal Hammer, so while I'm not going to try convince you of Facebook's inherent toxicity via anecdote, I do want to emphasize this; Facebook can be garbage. Garbage with a lot of sponsored posts. It's actually beginning to become a problem.

So what's my facebook feed like?

Well, part of the answer is above. I wanted to preface this because it can go anywhere from entirely wholesome to entirely garbage. "Don't read the comments" is great advice.

But when Facebook's not being awful, it's actually kind of great. It's a great way to keep up with LGBTQ news, South African current events, memes, music performances, cat videos, buzzfeed quizzes, nerd news, various trends in politics, my favourite webcomic artists and so on and so forth.

Occasionally I even get to see a decent post from my friends.

It's gone through changes over the years, there used to be more friends and music and less politically charged articles and feminist pages. Right now I actually spend a lot of time in a nerdy group I found and it's a quaint little community with very little toxicity and that's what I like about it, it's usually people just posting opinions with civility or just gushfests about things they like. Wish more of the internet was like that but unfortunately there's so much toxicity everywhere that it's hard to escape.

And when pages mind their own business, they get hacked and used for porn and clickbait articles. Which can make the whole experience awful.

But I'm still holding on to my one little pocket. It's probably the only thing still keeping me on, because when you find a good community of good people, stick by them.

Anyway, that's me out.

Friday, August 17, 2018

Day 23: An Interesting Videogame I've Played Recently

I'm cheating because I've owned this one for a while, but that's not gonna stop me from plugging the game.

Crypt Of The Necrodancer is a procedurally generated dungeon crawler married to a rhythm game and the end result is a lot more coherent than you think.

The real kicker is that it works off the bat with my Dance Dance Revolution dance mat for PS3 so the name of the game is finding a control scheme that works for you and having a dance party, while also engaging with some hectic mechanics.

You can only move on the beat and your combo climbs as you tango through procedurally generated rooms as you murder and loot your way to colourful and creative bosses.

The only caveats it has is that periodically your game is interrupted by these FMV lore expositions which might harm more than help, and the difficulty curve spikes sharply at the end. But four dungeons to crawl through with your progressed saved as you beat the dungeon and the ability to choose what items spawn mean you're never left with your pants down and that mechanical mastery is how you win.

I give it a hard recommendation, go play it, it's cool, it's fun, it's interesting.

Either way, that's me, peace out, Matt-Dave signing off.

Day 22: Bullet My Day

Keeping track of our days is something we often fail to do. It's a small thing but time ticks on and if we don't take a moment to reflect and recollect, we might lose it. Anwyay, I loved doing this one last time, so here goes;

- Woke up to three alarms around mid-day
- Talked with friends at length about ScaJo playing a trans man in an upcoming film
- Worked on the itch.io page for Starship Arena
- Had coffee and food
- Forwarded the Gamejolt and itch.io pages around a little more
- Caught up on a GDQ run of Castlevania
- Browsed Netflix some
- Looked into Mac exports for the game
- Wow, why are Apple so scummy?
- Put on some lofi mixes.
- Had dinner
- Stayed up wayyy too late
- Wrote up this little bastard.

As you can see, life isn't all that complex for me. Perhaps mundane but a good time capsule. And who knows, one day I might miss the days my life were this simple, it's good to keep track of the memories.

Love you loads, Matt-Dave

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Alex Strangelove

So Alex Strangelove is a weird little movie. It's a marriage of Superbad and the last gay foreign film you saw and a lot like Superbad, it makes me think straight people should stop being in movies.

Basic plot rundown is that Alex and Claire are dating and Alex is super psyched to lose his virginity. But then Alex meets the sexy and sweet Elliot, who Alex develops feelings for, which throws a wrench in his plans to lose his virginity to Claire.

Okay so all the schlocky tropes of the teen "let's get laid and party" film are there, a kind of shitty protagonist with shitty friends, the cute quirky girlfriend, projectile vomit, awkward sex scenes, profesionally lit frat parties and copious amounts of substance abuse. What's also there is a coming out and of age story about a boy who meets another boy and falls in love.

So the first major problem is that Elliot is barely in the movie. Past the 40 minute mark we swop from Alex's conflicted feelings for both Elliot and Claire to how Alex just having these feelings is a problem, and Elliot doesn't show up again until the very end. The big climax happens in the sex scene (in that no one climaxes and this causes a falling out between Alex and Claire where he admits he has feelings for someone else) and then we have the Chekov's gun in a hallucinogenic frog and Alex admitting that he's gay.

To backtrack a little, right after a night out with Elliot, Alex comes home and lays out two cereal boxes. Then he picks out a third one and lays it down which is a cereal with elements of the first two, and the editing ruins what could have been a pretty clever visual metaphor by just spelling out Hetero, Bi and Gay.

So Alex goes along, up until that point, explicitly stating he's bi.

And this is where I found myself disappointed in the film. It wasn't brave enough to explore degrees of sexuality and the bisexual stepping stone narrative so vastly overpowers other, true bisexual experiences that it empowers the myth of bi men just being gay men not ready to come out yet, despite us making up a pretty large percentage of the LGBTQ community. The film also has some shitty attitudes towards trans and pansexual people, in that they're represented by goth outcasts and openly mocked by Del Gato without any challenge from the voice of the writers and lens for the audience, Alex. Del Gato also then gets the girl he's been shitty to the whole movie so yeah, let's reward that behaviour shall we.

And it's also a film with the audacity to ask "Isn't anyone just plain straight anymore?" with a mostly straight main cast.

It's not a good gay romance, it's also a mediocre Superbad, but the one thing the film does well is the pain of being in a heterosexual relationship and not feeling attraction towards your partner. The care it takes to show the leads painfully breaking apart as two people who clearly love each other, while one just isn't sexually attracted to the other person, is the biggest strength and draw of the film.

It's just too bad you have to sit through a shitty version of both Love, Simon and It's Kind Of A Funny Story to get to watch that.

So if you're into queer tourism, Alex Strangelove might be the film for you. If you want queer romance to have a little more queer in it, there are better, gayer films. The biggest criticism I can level is that for a queer romance movie, there's very little queer romance. Also Elliot can father my children and the fact that he's practically an afterthought makes this film so goddamn frustrating that someone needs to put together an Elliot only cut.