A Hot Take On That Godawful Sonic Movie Poster

Yeah, no. This silhouette is horrifying. Delete this and fire whoever greenlit this character design.

Conventional wisdom says to not judge a book by it's cover but if you've been a long time Sonic fan you can recognize the signs of a bad product, and this film released a poster with a large sign that says that the people behind this don't really seem to know what they're doing.

We can argue aesthetics all day and you can hate me for whining about Sonic not wearing his signature shoes and gloves (it'd be like shaving Mario's mustache, what are you doing?), or how weird those blue arms look, or how horrifying the eyes might be based on a couple brightened edits of the poster but we've been here before. We've been here before so many times it's frustrating to see how no one seems to learn their lessons when it comes to messing with Sonic's design.

And this time, it's so bad that Sonic Boom is now one of the more faithful interpretations of the blue blur.

If you've been involved in the Sonic discourse for any length of time you might remember a video by Youtuber Good Blood.

You don't have to read the comments. It was not well received.

I don't begrudge the guy, he recognized that there was a certain staleness and that something was holding Sonic back but like so many others, he just overcorrected. In fact, he did a goddamn U-turn when all we needed was a slight nudge.

Which makes it all the more frustrating to fans because people who don't understand Sonic keep getting put in charge of his major releases.

There are hundreds of Good Bloods out there, and one of them is apparently named Tim Miller and he's helming the first major cinematic release.

If you'd asked us what we wanted, we could tell you without missing a beat that we want a feature-length version of the Sonic Unleashed intro cutscene. Tim Miller's insistence towards not making Sonic look "too Pixar" is tonedeaf because that's all this fanbase wants.

But it's not all bad. Sega was smart enough to have Tyson Hesse storyboard and helm the Sonic Mania Adventures webseries and if you're a Sonic fan, hell, if you just like great animation, you owe it to yourself to watch it. 

On the bright side, once this film inevitably fails, there will be a treasure trove of fresh memes. Because as fun as it is, we've been riding Sonic '06 for 12 years now, it's about time this franchise coughed up a new hairball for us to play with.